More than two decades into their marriage, filmmaker and choreographer Farah Khan says the way she values her relationship with husband Shirish Kunder has evolved over the years. Speaking on Shekhar Suman’s YouTube show, Farah reflected on how marriage, parenthood and shared responsibilities have reshaped what love looks like in the long run. Rather than focusing on the excitement associated with the early days of a relationship, she said her admiration for her husband now comes from the role he plays within their family. “I value Shirish in other things now. As a father, as a person who looks after the whole family,” she said.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
Farah reserved special praise for Shirish’s role as a father, revealing that he has been closely involved in raising their three children and personally guided them through their academic journeys. “He is a wonderful father. People ask me how all my children got early admissions into such good universities. I tell them their father was their counsellor. He gives so much time to each child,” she said. She also shared that despite being a devoted parent, Shirish continues to pursue his own interests. “Of course, he writes scripts. He’s also learning AI. He’s a loner, and I’ve always known that. That’s one of the reasons I liked him,” she added. The conversation also included a light-hearted moment as Farah joked, “My son and Shirish are now the same height. If someone walks into the bedroom at night, I can’t make out whether it’s Shirish or my son. If the person comes and hugs me, then I know it’s my son.”
As couples move through different life stages, appreciation often shifts from grand romantic gestures to qualities such as reliability, emotional support, shared responsibilities and active parenting. But how do these changes strengthen long-term relationships, and what role does an involved parent play in a child’s overall development? We asked an expert.
How appreciation evolves in long-term relationships
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “In the early phase of a relationship, appreciation is often shaped by novelty, attraction and emotional intensity. With time, as life brings work stress, financial responsibilities and family demands, the emotional lens shifts. What begins to stand out is not excitement but consistency. People start noticing who stays steady during conflict, who does not withdraw under pressure, and who remains emotionally available when things are not ideal. Reliability slowly becomes more intimate than romance because it creates predictability in an unpredictable life.”
He adds that partnership is no longer about sharing enjoyable moments but about sharing decision making, problem solving and emotional load. Emotional support also becomes central, not in dramatic expressions but in small daily responses like listening without rushing to fix or staying present during difficult conversations. In clinical settings, long-term couples who report satisfaction rarely speak about constant passion. They speak about feeling emotionally held, not abandoned during stress. That shift is what transforms love from experience-driven to trust-driven.
How parental involvement shapes a child’s development
When a parent is consistently involved in a child’s daily life, Raj says, the child develops a stronger internal sense of stability. This is not built through constant instruction but through presence during ordinary moments like homework frustration, exam anxiety or peer conflicts. Over time, the child internalises that challenges are manageable rather than overwhelming. Confidence grows from this repeated experience of being guided and not dismissed.
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Decision-making also becomes more grounded because children observe how parents think through situations, rather than simply receiving answers. Raj shares, “In many families, there is a strong belief that external coaching defines success, but emotionally, it is the home environment that shapes resilience. A parent who listens, corrects gently and allows the child to struggle within safe limits builds far more than academic ability. They build emotional endurance, which often determines how the child navigates adulthood.”
Why personal time strengthens family life
Click each section to discover how maintaining your own identity benefits both you and your family:
🎨 Personal interests
Continuing hobbies and interests help maintain psychological balance and prevent a quiet loss of self after becoming a parent.
❤️ Benefits for the relationship
When partners have space for personal growth, they return with renewed emotional energy. This helps preserve curiosity and connection instead of focusing only on responsibilities.
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👨👩👧 Benefits for children
Parents who maintain a healthy balance between individuality and family life are less likely to rely on their children as their primary source of emotional fulfilment, creating a healthier home environment.
✅ Key takeaway
Maintaining individual identity alongside parenting supports healthier relationships, reduces emotional fatigue and contributes to a more stable, resilient family over time.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
