R Madhavan has often spoken proudly about his son, Vedaant Madhavan, who has emerged as one of India’s most promising competitive swimmers and dreams of winning an Olympic medal for the country. In a conversation with Radhika Gupta on the YouTube channel 100 Year Life Project by ACKO, the Dhurandhar actor had opened up on the parenting principles that shaped Vedaant, from teaching him gratitude and respect to ensuring he never took privilege for granted.
Madhavan said he came from a middle-class family but was eventually able to provide his son with almost everything he wanted because of his success.
“One of the most important skills a child should have is the attitude of gratitude. Although we came from a very middle-class background, I was able to afford everything Vedant wanted because of the kind of success God bestowed upon me. But I also realised that came with its own set of challenges.”
He said he wanted his son to understand that the comforts he enjoyed were the result of someone else’s hard work.
“I realised there were two things I needed to teach Vedant. One was the attitude of gratitude. It’s very important for children to know that they are privileged because somebody else has worked their backside off to give them this lifestyle.”
‘My cook would have to work an entire year to buy this toy’
Madhavan revealed that he often used everyday examples to help Vedant understand the value of money.
“Sometimes I would tell him the salary of my cook and say, ‘Do you know what this toy you’ve been gifted costs? This man would have to work an entire year, living in that kitchen, to afford even a part of it.’ That struck Vedant a lot.”
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According to the actor, these conversations helped his son appreciate his privileges instead of taking them for granted.
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Why he insisted Vedant greet security guards and drivers
Apart from gratitude, Madhavan said he wanted his son to treat everyone with equal respect, irrespective of their profession or social status.
“The second thing I made sure Vedant did was acknowledge everyone—the liftman, the guard, the drivers, the ayahs. I told him not to address them casually but respectfully, as didis and bhaiyas.”
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For Madhavan, it wasn’t merely about teaching good manners.
“It’s not just about good manners. It’s about situational awareness. I wanted my child to be aware of where he is, who he’s dealing with, and to greet people who may not have as much money.”
He recalled feeling especially proud whenever people noticed Vedant’s behaviour.
“If the watchman came and said, ‘Your son is a very polite child. He always says namaste to me,’ I felt my job was well done.”
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The actor added that such values had unexpectedly helped his son over the years.
“I can’t tell you how many times that has stood him in good stead and helped when he really needed it. People remember him because he’s far more polite than most others. It helps to get noticed in today’s world.”
‘Don’t give your child free time’
Madhavan also shared another parenting lesson that came from a family he lived with while studying in Canada.
Recalling his student days, he said he lived in a town where teenage pregnancies, drugs and alcohol were common among youngsters. However, one family he stayed with had children who stayed away from those influences.
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He later asked the woman of the house how she had managed it.
“She gave me one piece of advice that I followed wholeheartedly, and it really worked for my son. She said, ‘Don’t give your child free time.’”
Elaborating, Madhavan said children should be encouraged to stay occupied with activities they genuinely enjoy.
“Indulge them in whatever they want to do. The interests will change, the level of commitment will change, but make sure they don’t have free time till they’re 15 or 16. Let them move from one activity to another.”
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He stressed that these activities should never feel like a burden.
“It should be fun. It shouldn’t be a chore because the child is going to hate it. Whether it’s basketball, tennis, golf, kabaddi, spending time with the staff’s children or even learning how to make dough—just make sure their time is filled.”
According to Madhavan, keeping children meaningfully engaged leaves little room for negative influences during their formative years.
“That doesn’t give them time to dwell on things they shouldn’t be at that age.”
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Madhavan married Sarita Birje in 1999, and the couple welcomed their son, Vedaant, in 2005. The young swimmer is currently based in Dubai, where he balances his education with rigorous training.
Disclaimer: This article highlights personal reflections and conversational insights shared for informational and entertainment purposes.
